A Jewish Israeli and an Ethiopian Christian Face War Together
D’vora is an Israeli mother living in Toronto. When she heard that war had broken out back home last year, she knew she had to go and help. Her non-Jewish husband, Teddy, supported her 100%. Hear them tell the story.
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Interview Transcript
Teddy: Today, we live in a predominantly Muslim neighborhood. And they (our kids) are proud of who they are. They told their friends at school that they are Jewish. They are Israeli citizens. So, my daughter would come home and tell me, “They are asking me, ‘Who do you support? Do you support Israel or Palestine?’” This conversation for a seven-year-old, especially when you are isolated and ten kids are asking you this question, can be very challenging.
Tuvya: Hi, this is Tuvya Zaretsky and today I'm with D’vora and Teddy Lema. They're up in Toronto, Canada. And we are talking about their experience of and response to the events that took place in Israel on October 7, 2023. If you get a chance, you can hear their whole story of their spiritual journey within our podcast series. It's worth a listen. First, I’ll tell you a little bit about their backgrounds. Both come from Ethiopia. Teddy grew up in the community of Ethiopian Orthodox Christianity. His spiritual journey took him from a secular outlook to search for spirituality, then finding the answer in a living Christian faith. And D’vora was raised with her Jewish family in Ethiopia, then her family moved to Israel. They became citizens and attended Israeli schools. And responding to civic duty, she served in the military.
D’vora: In the army, I was first training, and then I was teaching Hebrew for new soldiers, new immigrant soldiers. I was a training officer; a segan is a lieutenant (when I translate that title to English), which is a second officer rank.
Tuvya: The reason I wanted to interview the two of you is, I understood that your reaction to what happened on October 7, 2023, was impactful and remarkable. I thought it would be helpful for our listeners to hear your story. Let’s begin. How did you get the news of what happened in Israel that day in October?
Teddy: When I found out, I think I was on my phone. I kept seeing and hearing some of the videos that were being uploaded. I went to our living room to turn on the TV. I found out from a news channel network here in Toronto. And I just, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I think Debbie was checking on the kids.
Tuvya: D’vora, you were in the kids’ bedroom using your phone for light?
D’vora: Right. Yes. So, very early on Sunday morning—no, sorry, Saturday morning (which is already Saturday night in Israel) I went to my son's room as he woke up. I just checked my phone, as I use my phone for some light. And then I saw my phone full of messages in my family groups. My sisters’ group, my friends’ groups, our extended family. And when I opened it, I really thought, it's one of the usual, like Qassam (missiles from Gaza) that had been sent into Israel. To be honest, it was not something that really scared me at the beginning, because I kind of got used to it. I have experienced many of those in Israel, and I thought, “It's just something familiar.”
Tuvya: Just imagine, living in a place where Qassam rockets are fired out of Gaza toward your home, and that becomes a regular feature of life. The “red alert” sirens blaring became a normal part of life.
D’vora: Yes, unfortunately. Especially since, you know, my family was living in Beersheva from the south. That thought wasn't something new to us, unfortunately. I thought, it's one of those. My friends hadn't said many things in detail. They were just saying, “Oh, this nightmare is starting again.”
So I thought, it's one of those things that I know. But I started checking on the news. Teddy came, and we realized what was happening at the same time. When I saw the news and the videos, and I saw there were actually mekhablim, terrorists in the middle of our cities, in the middle of kibbutzim, some of the same kibbutzim that I myself served in the army, I was shocked. That was something totally different. And yeah, that's how we found out.
The kibbutzim that I served in were two: Nahal Oz, and Ein HaShlosha. These are two kibbutzim that the army used to send lieutenant officers to twice a year to provide extra guards (for the holidays).
Tuvya: So, did you contact your family in Israel right away?
D’vora: Yes. They weren't picking up the phone right away. I guess they were also worried about how they'd tell me what was happening. They were shocked themselves, to be honest. It took them a day or two to figure out what's happening because word was spreading right after Shabbat. Most of my family keeps Shabbat. So, they weren't checking phones for news. Besides hearing the sirens and running to the shelter, they didn't really know until night, or the next day even, what was going on. So, they couldn't really tell me much. They just told me, “It looks like something really big happened.” But I talk to them all the time. It took us a few days to realize what's happening.
Tuvya: As you and Teddy discussed those events over the next few days, what were your reactions? What were you thinking about what you would do? Teddy, what was it like for you? You were not raised in Israel with all this stuff happening, but now it’s become very real for you.
Teddy: Yeah. It was hard, Tuvya, to be honest. I was there in 2013. My daughter was eight months old at that time. Even then, rockets were being sent. I had to pick up my eight-month-old daughter at 3:00 in the morning and go hide, just to take cover.
Tuvya: In the sheltered stairway?
Teddy: Yes. So, being in Canada on October 7 and having had that earlier experience really opened my eyes to what kind of condition the Jewish people are living in, in Israel. So, when I saw what I was seeing, I was just… it's something that you can't believe in this day and age, that something like that could happen. You know?
Tuvya: You are married to somebody who is Jewish, and you’re having children together. Did something click in your head that there's a part of you now that is bonded to the Jewish people?
Teddy: 100%. You know, our kids are visibly part of a minority. So we have conversations, and I pray that part of them won't affect them in life. But the experience of what the Jewish people went through that day was eye opening for me. To see what they are actually facing as Jewish people, knowing our children growing up with that identity. So that was something that I never really thought of until that day. I knew the stigmas and things that people have toward the Jewish community, toward Jewish people, but I didn't know it was to that scale until that day.
Tuvya: Yeah. D’vora, I understood that you ended up going back to Israel around that time. How long was it before that happened, and what was making that decision like?
D’vora: I went back in December. So, that is about three months after the attack. I can say that it was a very hard decision to make. I knew how worried my kids were, and how even Teddy, as supportive as he is, I could imagine that maybe there's stuff in the back of the head that worries him. Even things like, “Will there be flights coming back to Canada?” Or, “What's happening may change for the worse,” and things like that. So, it was difficult in that sense. But we knew.
Teddy and I knew 100% that it was the right thing to do. Like we felt it. Teddy told me he really thought I should do that, which really gave me peace. It helped knowing that he understands the need that I feel. Every day since the attack, I'm feeling… many different feelings. One of them was like, “What can I do? I can’t just sit here.” That urge of like, what do we do? How do we help, you know, when your nation goes into war? So, he really recognized that. At the same time, it felt to us really like the right thing to do at that moment. We talked a lot with the kids in our conversation every day. And we prayed and prayed with them that this process would be as easy as possible. And yeah, at the end, I felt like I was sent with their understanding. And that was good.
Teddy: And you know what I sensed—from the moment she found out what was happening, I felt helpless. She wants to do something, but what can she do? And as the days went on, and we saw more images, we realized maybe it wasn't the right choice to make.
But to be honest with you, Tuvya, I was just stuck on my phone, because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I also said, I'm not gonna turn a blind eye. I'm really going to take in and see what happened so that I am in the right state of mind when I'm praying, or when I'm advising my wife, or sheltering my children. I want to know the terror and the fear that's out there, so that I'd be able to guide them the best way that I can. And in order for me to do that I need to take in as much as possible of what happened that day. And I saw that Debbie was very eager to do something. And so yeah, I just encouraged her to go.
Tuvya: D’vora, you didn't go back because the military was asking you to go back?
D’vora: No, no. The military didn't ask me because I moved, and because I’m a mother now. But I felt like—to be honest to you, Tuvya, I went to serve another army. That's how I felt. I went feeling that I needed to serve the people of God. I need to help my brothers and sisters who are there. And so, I was really grateful for that opportunity I had in Israel. I was serving in Tel Aviv with the Jew for Jesus team. During that period, we helped hundreds of families by providing food, by packing boxes of good dry foods for those families who were evacuated.
Tuvya: They were evacuated out of the southern part of Israel in the Gaza district?
D’vora: Yes, yes, correct. And also, caring for soldiers. There were days when we went out there to the military bases and provided fresh coffee and had conversations with those who were on reserve duty for weeks. They hadn't seen their children or their spouses. We were there for those soldiers who had just joined the army. It was really a powerful experience for me. I was able to sit down with soldiers. Soldiers that I could have led at that time or soldiers that could be my supervisors. It was really blessed. And one of the things that I also did during my time there was, we held a webinar where we spoke spiritually and shared our faith. That was helping during those times—it was very powerful.
Tuvya: So, Teddy was at home taking care of the kids?
D’vora: Right.
Tuvya: And how long did you stay in Israel?
D’vora: I stayed for a total of five weeks.
Tuvya: Wow. So, looking back now, a year later, what have you taken away from that period? The conflict in the region has expanded. We're not going to go into that today. I wanted to get just some thoughts from each of you, even from this past week.
Teddy: Just to go back a little bit, Tuvya. When Debbie went, it was literally her birthday the next day. She went on the 18th of December. So, we knew she was going to be away for her birthday and for Christmas. For the kids to be at home without their mom at that time—it was challenging, but they understood.
But what was also eye opening for me, Tuvya, was the amount of protest that was happening throughout our city (Toronto). I need to be early at school picking up these kids because we live in a predominantly Muslim neighborhood, and they are proud of who they are. So, they've told their friends for many years at that school that they're Jewish. They're Israeli citizens. So, my daughter would come home and tell me some things like, “They're asking me, who do you support? Do you support Israel or Palestine?” And this conversation, for you know, for a 7-year-old and a 10-year-old, especially when you are alone and isolated, and a group of 10 kids are asking you this question, that can be very challenging.
Tuvya: Yeah, I would think so. Wow.
Teddy: Yeah. So, I had to face not only the threat that the Jewish people were facing in Israel, but also the protests around the world. That was a shocking and eye-opening moment. How could people—after seeing what they saw being televised from Israel—how could people feel comfortable enough to go out and protest, to justify what happened?
Tuvya: You’re talking about the anti-Zionist and pro-Palestinian demonstrations that were taking place. I struggle to refer to it as pro-Palestinian, because the purpose of their demonstrations out there is an antisemitic, anti-Jewish, anti-Zionist hatred that's fueling it. Thanks for sharing that, as painful as that's got to be, for your children to be in the middle of that. So, what was it that you saw this past weekend?
Teddy: It was actually yesterday. Yesterday was the one-year anniversary since this horrible attack took place. We were at the Jewish Community Center where we had time to get together as a community and reflect back on what happened on October 7. We heard from people who survived the October 7 attack. They took time to remember the hostages and people by name, by picture, who've been killed. I’d say there were at least 15,000 people. We were there together after a year. Many people were in tears. And that kind of tells you and shows you a little bit of how devastated the Jewish community is from that event.
Tuvya: It's a burden we are still carrying. And I'm grateful to hear you share from your heart how that is touching you. D’vora, any last thoughts here?
D’vora: It has been a very challenging year. We experienced it both in what's happening there and what's happening here. With our kids experiencing antisemitism at school, that has been very difficult. But we're grateful. You know, we're grateful for our faith. I feel that really helped us to go through this. Our hope in God, who is not surprised by what's happening, helps. So does knowing that God has always been with Israel throughout history, throughout all the wars. So those things have really helped us both to explain and encourage our kids in this difficult time. So, we are thankful for the hope we have in Messiah, and for the hope we see for the future that God will continue to preserve the Jewish people, and that we will flourish, and we will remain. We pray that this will never happen again.
Teddy: You know, Tuvya, it was a season where we learned what it means to pray and love your enemy. Our son was praying every day, “Please God, show the people in Hamas what they're doing is wrong, so they don't do this anymore.” And it was a hard time, raising kids that are hearing this, that are seeing this, but at the same time guiding them so that there's no hate in their heart. You know that they see this and understand that what was done is wrong, and we hope that they should pray for these people to understand what they're doing is wrong.
TUVYA: This also underscores our hope for couples and families to find spiritual harmony. To have faith and love for a God who preserves us and cares for us is at the core of what we are all about at Jewish Gentile Couples. Thanks for sharing your hearts. Hopefully next time we have a chance to get you on this podcast we’ll have something more fun to talk about. Bless you both.
D’vora: Thank you so much, Tuvya.
Teddy: Thank you so much for having us, Tuvya.
*To hear more of Teddy and D’vora’s backstory, listen to their first podcast!
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