Esther: Blessings of an Intermarriage
What Queen Esther learned about true culture
by Tuvya Zaretsky I March 4, 2025
The story of Esther occurred during one of the darkest periods in Israel’s history. After God’s repeated warnings, the kingdom of Judah was exiled to Babylon in 605 BC. Just 19 years later, Israel’s enemies destroyed Jerusalem and the Temple. Both the Jewish people’s home, and the place where they were meant to connect with God, were gone.
Then in 538 BC (one year after Persia toppled the Babylonian Empire), a small remnant of Jews was allowed to return to Zion. Some stayed back in Persia (which is now modern-day Iran). Those who travelled home would have had the difficult task of not only migrating, but rebuilding. But those who remained in the Persian Empire faced their own dangers: assimilation and antisemitism.
Historically, wherever Jewish people have lived in the diaspora, they’ve been pressured to conform to the cultures around them. Persian culture was no different. The Jewish heroes we know as Mordechai and Esther were actually named after pagan deities Marduk and Ishtar.
Her outer lifestyle and even her name assimilated almost beyond recognition. But Hadassah (Esther), a young orphaned Jewish girl, became the Lord’s heroine and instrument of deliverance for her people.
Intermarriage
If you’re familiar with the Torah or with religious Jewish tradition, you know the prohibition against marrying out. There are many verses that mention this command. One from Deuteronomy comes on the heels of God’s instructions to love Him only (which we call the Shema). “You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods” (Deuteronomy 7:3-4).
The purpose of this instruction was to protect the Israelites’ relationship with the Lord God. His warning was less about preserving physical DNA and more about preserving a spiritual heritage. The nations around them were practicing idolatry towards false gods (Exodus 34:14–16, Deuteronomy 7:1–4).
Jewish people were meant to marry and raise families with one another as a way of protection from outside cultural influences. Those outside influences could have turned them away from the One who had made them a nation in the first place.
Chosen
King Ahasuerus was clearly neither wise nor spiritual. (We’ll spare you the litany of his sins.) Through no choice of her own, Esther became his queen. Talk about assimilation! First, she was given a name not of her people; then, she was forced not only to intermarry, but to marry a pagan king.
We know how the story goes: one man (Mordechai) refused to bow down to Haman (the king’s right-hand man). Haman responded by planning genocide.
Mordechai went to the queen and gave her courage with this now-famous line: “Who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14). He argued that Esther was uniquely positioned, uniquely chosen.
And when faced with a choice to assimilate, hide, and hope for the best—or trust in God and stand up for her people—Esther chose her God and her people.
True Culture, True Identity
Esther made her decision, but she knew she’d need strength to carry it out. She told Mordechai, “Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do” (Esther 4:16). Fasting is an act associated with fervent prayer. Esther drew boldness from her own prayer and the prayers of her people.
When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out of it. When Esther was squeezed by trial and fear, her Jewishness rose to the occasion. But not a bagels-and-lox kind of Jewishness. Her core Jewish value of survival was triggered.
In openly identifying herself with her people, Esther claimed a unique heritage: one where trust was found in God alone, and where survival came from Him.
Yes, there are some habits, foods, and traditions that the Jewish people have carried from place to place. It’s a way of preserving identity (what’s called “diaspora culture”).
But when threatened, Queen Esther discovered a layer to her Jewish culture that’s deeper than the things we can do to preserve it: the covenant.
The covenant that God established with Abraham connected him and his descendants uniquely to God and to each other. Culture has many layers: its core layer is spiritual. I like to think that Esther was strengthened by this layer the moment she confronted Haman (and the King).
In openly identifying herself with her people, Esther claimed a unique heritage: one where trust was found in God alone, and where survival came from Him.
Blessing Beyond Survival
One of the unique features of Esther’s story is that God’s name is not mentioned. But we also know that, according to other texts (namely, Genesis 12 and 15), the Lord promised to eternally preserve Abraham’s offspring. In many cases, there is a “story behind the story.” The story behind Esther's story is that God promised to be faithful to the people of Israel—and He has kept that promise.
The Jewish people like to be known as a people who love life. The popular saying, Am Israel Chai (the people of Israel live), asserts their resilience to survive. And God wants His people to not only survive, but to thrive.
Part of that thriving comes when we understand why the Jewish people live. It comes with knowing that, regardless of the threats that some people fear in intermarriage and assimilation, God has kept his covenant with the Jewish people. And thriving comes with knowing the reason for that: relationship with God and one another.
Queen Esther shared that hope and courage with her pagan king and husband (ultimately, she taught him about the God of Israel and saved him from making a deadly mistake—but that’s for another article). If the two of them can learn in those circumstances, you can grow through yours!
There is hope for the future—hope beyond survival.
Discussion questions
Did you learn anything new from the story of Esther and Purim?
Does anything in this story relate to your own life experience?
Intermarried?
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