How to Celebrate an Interfaith Passover
It’s about Remembering.
If you are part of a Jewish-Gentile couple, one of you might have a long tradition for observing Passover. But for the other partner, jumping into a complex story may seem a little daunting. Whether you’re continuing a tradition this year or starting a new one, we think there are rich opportunities that come alive when couples share the holidays together.
“The Jewish people have the two-fold reputation of being a history-centered people and of holding the longest and most tenacious of memories.”¹ If that’s true, then in a way, the Jewish people have been entrusted with passing down memories. But what memories are to be shared?
The answer to that question will vary greatly depending on who you ask! If you are the Jewish partner, when you think of Passover, you may think, I remember my family’s story. And even those stories will be diverse depending on where you grew up. Orthodox Jewish people from New York may remember waiting to eat the Seder meal until their fathers and grandfathers walked home from synagogue. Persians may recall hitting one another (and being hit!) with scallions. Sephardic Jewish people may picture mountains of rice, not matzah, when they think of Passover.
And if you’re the non-Jewish partner, you’ve probably heard that Jesus was Jewish, but you may or may not be well acquainted with the Passover meal he celebrated with his disciples. Celebrating Passover now may be a chance for you to connect more personally with that story.
Shakespeare said, “What’s past is prologue.”² And you, too, may have experienced that while the past of your people doesn’t define your whole story, it does set up something foundational to who you are. So, it makes sense to ask the question, What parts of the past should we be holding on to? Though Passover is a Jewish holiday that’s been handed down by the Jewish people, it holds the keys to important memories for both Jewish people and Christians.
Retelling the Story
No story is complete without its beginning. And like many stories, Passover’s beginning is complicated.
There’s the sweat the Hebrews poured out over 430 years doing backbreaking work for Pharaoh. The tears they cried to God, begging Him to see their troubles and release them from bondage. And the blood of the lamb, staining hands, staining doorposts.
Blood, sweat, and tears—and we haven’t even mentioned the plagues.
God wanted the rescue of His people to be so miraculous that they would know one thing: only He could have done it. He established Passover as a yearly celebration so that future generations could teach their children that “He passed over the houses of the people of Israel in Egypt, when he struck the Egyptians but spared our houses” (Exodus 12:27).
The Jewish people were given instructions on how to pass this story on from generation to generation in a meaningful way. Being a largely aural culture, symbols were very important for keeping the memory alive. Those symbols are still an important part of the holiday today. So, we’ve compiled here a list of all the elements you need to plan your interfaith Passover celebration, and to remember together.
More than a Meal
When you and your partner sit down to a Seder dinner together, you’re not just sharing food; you’re committing to sharing an experience together.
So whether it’s just the two of you, the two of you plus kids, or a houseful of friends and family, the Passover elements lend themselves very naturally to the retelling of the story.
Biblically, there were only three elements that were required. God said the Israelites should eat a meal of bitter herbs, lamb, and unleavened bread (Exodus 12:8). These symbols helped to trigger memories of what God did in Egypt.
Other components beyond those three from the biblical text have been added over the centuries as we continue to retell the story.
Bitter Herbs (Maror)
You can use horseradish, garlic, leeks, or onions. We dip the herbs in salt water to remember the bitter tears of slavery in Egypt. It may seem odd to purposely eat bitter herbs in order to invoke a painful memory, but the pain is part of the story of Passover.
A Roasted Lamb Shank Bone (Zeroah)
Different cultures and ethnicities have different ways of preparing lamb. Some homes today for whom lamb is not readily available may substitute the lamb shank for a chicken bone. Other Jewish families might believe that they shouldn’t serve lamb at all because it cannot be properly sacrificed without the Temple.
And if you were to attend a Messianic Seder dinner, you might hear something like this: “No one needs to make a sacrifice because Jesus died as the Passover lamb to take the punishment for our sin.”³
Whether or not you have a bone on your plate, know that its purpose is to remind you of the sacrifice of a special lamb that was given on the night that God’s people were rescued.
Charoset
Charoset reminds us of the mortar used to build bricks for Pharaoh’s structures: his temple, his tombs, his palace. You can find many recipes for charoset online, but the concept is to have a bit of dried or fresh fruit on your plate. You can use apples, raisins, and even combine those with cinnamon or other seasonings.
A Vegetable (Karpas)
Parsley represents the life that God gave the Jewish people when He brought them to Egypt. We dip it in salt water to remember that during that time, they were also enslaved. The salty tears connect you to that part of your Jewish history.
A Roasted Egg (Betzah)
An egg symbolizes mourning; it serves as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple. (And it may be one of the few things on the table that your family will actually eat!)
Unleavened Bread (Matzah)
Unleavened bread serves as a reminder that when God said, “Go,” He meant business. The Israelites were to be ready to leave Egypt in a hurry (they wouldn’t even have time for their bread to rise).
One fun way to involve children in your Passover celebration is to hide a piece of matzah called the afikomen. It requires a longer explanation, but the point is that it’s fun for children to find the broken piece.⁴
Wine or Juice
Four servings of “fruit of the vine” are part of the Passover meal, each with its own meaning. If you’re familiar with the New Testament, you may recall that at Jesus’ Passover meal with his students, he took a cup of wine, saying, “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood” (Luke 22:20).
Praise (Hallel)
It’s traditional to read a passage from Psalms 113–118. Every one of these psalms has a reference to the word “hallelujah.” Psalm 118 concludes with the words, “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love is everlasting” (v. 29).
Every Story Needs a Hero
There’s no one way to do Passover. Perhaps the best way to start is to read the historical account beginning in Exodus 12. Within that story is the reminder that Passover occurs on the first full moon of spring. Perhaps this year, Passover can connect your family to the story of your people.
Just like every story needs a beginning, no story would be complete without a hero.
Our hero is the Lord of the Passover. He told Moses when He met him at the burning bush, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them” (Exodus 3:7–8).
When you taste the elements of the Passover table, let those symbols remind you that God is the true hero of the Passover story—God is the one who birthed the Jewish nation. One of the most interesting things about this story is that God saved many other people along with the Hebrews (Exodus 12:38). His heroism has always stretched towards the Jewish people while reaching far beyond them. His plan has always been to bless all the nations, including Israel. Passover is part of that salvation story.
So whether you’re Jewish, Gentile, or living in a family of both, could this be a time to consider a shared trust in the “Hero” who made you “you”?
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End Notes
“Jewish Memory,” My Jewish Learning, accessed February 23, 2024.
“What’s Past Is Prologue,” Wikipedia, accessed February 23, 2024.
Galan, Benjamin, Christ in the Passover (Rose Publishing, 2008).
For the long explanation of the afikomen, both traditional and Messianic, see A Messianic Family Haggadah.